In Which Rocks Fall
by tsutsuji
Summary: As usual, Zelgadis' search for magical lore ends in frustration. Also as usual, Xelloss is amused. A "Birth Rite" side story, inspired by a Nanowrimo dare.


Title: In Which Rocks Fall - A _Birth Rite_ side story

Author: Tsutsuji

Fandom: Slayers. Characters: Xelloss, Zelgadis, original characters

Summary: As usual, Zelgadis' study of lore and magic comes to a frustrating end. Also as usual, Xelloss is amused.

A short bit of silliness written as part of Nano 2012. Based on a Nano "Dare" to write a story in which an author gets fed up with his or her characters.

Posted 1/1/2013, first fic posted in 2013 (of many to come, I hope) ~ Happy New Year!

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Xelloss sat back and enjoyed the rare moment of silence in the Mala's library. Whatever Melly had gotten into today, at least it was somewhere away from the library and quiet, at least for the moment. Shuno was just reading, without the usual scratching of his pen on paper as he scribbled notes. Xelloss had managed to find a passage for him to translate which was easy enough that he was not making the usual lip-smacking, shishing noises that he made when he was frustrated, but interesting enough that he was not shifting in his chair and tapping his feet constantly as he did when he was bored.

It was so quiet in the library that Xelloss could hear a fly buzzing fitfully far up in one of the tall windows. Occasionally he heard the soft, quick "flwp" as Myona turned a page down at the far end of the table, and if he listened carefully enough, he could hear Zelgadis breathing quietly as he read.

Xelloss twisted around in his chair to peer pack at the chimera over his shoulder. Apparently, Zelgadis had also found a particularly intriguing passage in one of the collections of local lore. He was fully engrossed in the book in front of him, but he was not taking notes as he usually did when he was studying the old magic manuals.

After a few minutes of this peaceful near-silence, though, Zelgadis shifted in his chair, then made a soft questioning sound. He flipped back a few pages, then forward, then leaned closer and glared at the page.

Very carefully, so as not to disturb Shuno and therefore attract his unwanted attention, Xelloss slipped from his seat and went to look over the chimera's shoulder.

"Did the story not turn out as you hoped, Zel-san?" he whispered into Zelgadis' long, pointed ear, so quietly that no one else could have heard it if they'd been sitting within inches of them.

In answer, Zelgadis snorted softly.

"This is ridiculous. _Ridiculous_! It was the most intriguing story; I was sure it was leading to some grand, climactic confrontation between all the representatives of the different Beast Tribes. They started arguing over something small and insignificant, and it kept becoming more complicated with each meeting. Understandings multiplied, mistakes piled upon mistakes, each tribe started thinking the worst of the others, even though the narrator has made it clear that none of the terrible things they're all expecting of each other are really in anyone's mind."

"Oh my, it sounds quite like the way human beings behave on a regular basis," Xelloss observed cheerfully. "An accurate portrayal of human politics, I'd say, from my very impartial observations!"

Zelgadis snorted again. "You, impartial observer? More likely the instigator of a situation like this, _I'd_ say!"

He gave Xelloss a sidelong look with a raised eyebrow. Xelloss beamed back at him.

"Well, what was behind all the misunderstandings in this case?" Xelloss asked. "Surely this storyteller didn't use mazoku meddling as a plot device, did he?"

"It's worse than that," Zelgadis complained. He glared again at the book in his hand. "Just when it seems that the metaphorical moral of the tale is about to be revealed, just as you think all the silly, spineless, unreasonably suspicious leaders of the tribes are going to be shown up as the blathering idiots they all are...there's an avalanche. The grand tribal council meeting hall is buried under a mountainside of rubble."

"... And?" Xelloss prompted. He was delighted with this turn of events, naturally, but surely there was more to the tale.

"That's it. That's how it ends. Rocks fall. Everyone dies."

"Oh, my!" Xelloss clasped his hands together. He was thoroughly pleased, though not so much in the utter lack of any moralistic ending to the tale as at the chimera's seething, ineffectual fury at the tale's perverse author.

Zelgadis threw the book aside with a final "ridiculous!" It fell open to the last page of the story, and Xelloss leaned forward to read it.

The text did, indeed, simply stop in the middle of the page, exactly as Zelgadis had said:

_Then a mountain fell upon the Grand Hall of the Tribal Lords of the Far Flung Lands, and all were killed, and here their pointless argument ends. Mainly because I got sick of writing about this bunch of idiots, so I got rid of them. Stupid gits. ~~ Plithius the Scribe_

_The end._


End file.
